As you know, I have been particularly present on Facebook (FB). However, I have lately been more of an observer.

It is such a wonderful invention keeping people in touch again. Ironically, it is also a tool of much misunderstanding.

Whether little tots or adults, we are all but the same. The FB exposes our need to connect, to be in the know, and to be known. We march onto each other's turf spewing comments and snide remarks; sometimes brilliant and sometimes not so brilliant.

Might we have let our guards down when contributing so freely in cyberspace, on FB?

The 3rd Chapter of the Book of James is a timely reminder for us all.

¹ Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. ² Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way. ³ We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. ⁴ And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. ⁵ In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. ⁶ And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself. ⁷ People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, ⁸ but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. ⁹ Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. ¹⁰ And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! ¹¹ Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? ¹² Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can't draw fresh water from a salty spring.

 What a harrowing 2009, particularly towards its end and the break of 2010. Politics aside, I have learnt that people show their true skin in the game in times of controversy and challenge. And so have I.

I am only glad that I stood for good conscience in the way things have been done, or shall I say the way things could have been done. And in the process, I saw the carnality of humanity, even among people who called themselves believers of Christ.

In any case, I have surpassed the need to judge, and indeed why should I? May God deal with each of us the way He pleases.

Looking forward, what is most needful is the willingness to forgive. For if our faction who have left the firm can rise above the hurts that were caused to us, including all debts owed to us and all displeasures hurled at us, then we have indeed broken through.

And morning has broken today. The 10th of March 2010 has truly brought with it fresh dew, raindrops and freshness, drenching the heat of the last 2 months.

And we give thanks to God for bringing us through to a new found land.

 Over last weekend, I spent sometime alone. What better place than the usual haunt. I thought I could have much of the same joy and serenity as before.

Not anymore, I guess. The gahmen's bulldozed it away. What used to be rugged pathways and knolls are now but barren land - flat and soon to turn concrete.

I hate the gahmen for this. Yet what can one do? The country's got to "progress". My foot.

Nevertheless, I am just glad I managed to capture some parts of it with my lenses.

Oh what sweet memories.

It's not that I fancy making resolutions - I have not made any for donkey years since university. But after having been lacklustre in life for so long and having allowed work to dominate me, something nudged me to rethink my priorities.

I would like to get back into the arts, more particularly in music once again. I'd love to get involved again and to contribute. Maybe I should thank good friend J for this - J's always showed by example how professional life is not life in the absolute.

Let me not be dictated by an occupation, however oxymoronic that may sound. So let the musical juice flow once again.

For a start, the tonic soup has thus far disbanded. The remnants are but LO and myself attempting at a duo of sorts. While some of the practices to date have been promising, I feel sometimes that I am more of a let down. I do need a piano back home - really.

Then there's the fakebooks that I have always wanted to have, but didn't have the courage to admit. Call it the pride of an improvisor. At some point in time, I need to widen my repertoire. And what better time than now.

Since the warm reception of the personal project last year - the inconsPICuous calendar - some sparks have been ignited over the personal project this year. Once it is on its road, I'll tell.

But hush for now.

Had such a tough day in Court today. I am all so rusty in court craft such that at some points in time during submissions, I was literally starring blankly into the cases.

It was not as if I was ill-prepared, but that I had lost some drive through the 3 hour arguments.

Todate, I have lost 2 sets of arguments and I'm all but disappointed. I mean it is afterall an option for me when I returned to practice. The main stay of my practice is still in project work, which I thoroughly enjoy.

I guess the ball's in my court to decide as I coast along this 2nd year after a long long break.

Anyhow, I'm travelling with parents to Shanghai for week next week. I can't say that I'm terribly excited, but I think I owe it to myself to take a break from work and all the things around me.

October's been quite a tough month for me, probably also in the same way that October last year was. But I dare say that I am enjoying the ride while it last, relishing in thick of action, while balancing on more balls than one.

Tonight, I spent some quality time with my brother over dinner. It's one of those rare moments that I have with him. He's growing so fast and it just scares me how much opportunties I might have missed watching his progression in life. It's all too exciting and I could have wished I had my own kids. Still, with or without, watching young people grow is an utterly fulfilling thing.

And oh, I should also remember to talk to my pots of orchids, shouldn't I?

  I'm so happy that Singapore won its 2nd Silver medal at the Olympics. So what if the protagonists were all China born or bought. My grandpa was China born too. I'm proud of the girlie trio. So you see, I am really a Chinese National - just for this month.

Happy I am also because LO and myself are gonna be starting practice on Saturdays. At long last - and thanks to her aunt who has rather willingly obliged to lend us her place (and baby grand) for the try out(s).

Also making it to my happy-list is having spent some time with cousin DO and his family. His french wife F is simply a darling to talk to. And the height, the persona and the brain all wrapped up in one master piece ala Louis Vuitton. So I have french relatives too, ok? Don pray pray. 

All these notwithstanding that I still had to work this weekend to clear work which I would have otherwise completed the coming week. And not forgetting the bloody seminar paper that I was involuntary signed up to give. I don't think I want another weekend like this.

I wanna enjoy next weekend at the fireworks festival. Hurrah! I've booked for the family a room with a view. Can't wait.

But first things first - deliver the seminar.

  While Dad's treatment is over, the medical bills have come up to a whopping figure. And yes, I have been the Mr nice guy, but as the understanding with my brothers are that this is to be shared, I started doing the accounts yesterday with much particularity.

Out in the TV area, sits Dad with his notebook, eagerly typing away like a school boy. He is waiting for the opportune time to drop the bomb shell on us - his new financial projection for yet another pet project.

Some de jevu occurred. Most naturally. And while I try to stay as objective as i can, I somehow feel that my filial piety ought be tempered with some good sense.

So help me God.

And while that is on-going, the Beijing Olympic fever is playing on a high and I somehow feel so Chinese suddenly. Hee hee.

Bed time.

A crimson bloom

Wafted over

The shafts of a clover leaf

As dewdrops in the early morn

Frolicking with the wind

Between the arms of the sun

A crystal blossom

That we once held

In the dim lit alleys

Now sheds its petals

In forbidden highways

A candle that weeps

Within the shadows

Of its own passion

Casts its light in tears

That haply its brightness

Never fades in countless moons

Relics of the heart

Lyrics of joy

Mists on window pane

Rolled unto every drops

... the face

... the smile

... the laughter

Forever remain

~ By F J V

  I'm flying to Penang this week with Dad and Mom (and Mom's friend).

I'm trying to pscho myself to feel excited because I'm not. The only joy i guess is putting a smile on my Dad's face after his ordeal with chemo. And if that works, then I would have also put a smile on Mom's face. I guess her friend (some aunty) is always smiling so she's ok (and besides, she's not my responsibility).

Anyways, in order to get away from work, I had to settle a couple of matters. That saw me work relentlessly this weekend. I can't believe it. I actually worked 7 days this week! There must be a better way to manage this, right?

This evening, at dinner, I asked my Dad for a run-down of his pals in Penang, their family history, who's whose 1st wife and 2nd wife. Who's hushand's kicked the bucket. Who's the loaded guy. Who's relative to Aw Boon Haw and Aw Boon Par. Who slept with whose who and who's childern are gay.

Believe me, traditional as these Straits Chinese (not baba) appear to be, they appear to have somewhat "illustrious" lives.

And of course, I don't discount that this 'trip" is a set-up to matchmake me to some Penang girl. If so, that is simply a well trodden path for me; I have all the tricks at my finger tips by now.

Oh you delectable kampong goo-niangs.

  I met with the clients today. We talked.

It's amazing how an hour's chat helps to diffuse the tension within me. I'm so glad that we met. So it seems that winning or losing might not matter that much at this stage. We fight to win the war, not the battle.

Most of all, I thank God for preserving me through these few days. It has been mostly tossing and turning in bed. Brooding when I should have been resting.

Thanks to all who interceded for me.